Though I parked in the same area I always do, and entered through the same door, and wove a similar path to my usual route through the shoppers, I got lost. Sometimes I am more conscious of landmarks, so I can negotiate my way back out, but today that just wasn’t the case. A dull sinus headache was my shopping companion, successfully distracting me from my usual habits.
The Christmas decorations were out in full force, sparkling and glittering, clamoring for attention from the passers-by. The muzak like Christmas melody accompanied their performance, insinuating throughout the store. Normally I would stop and absorb this bucolic scene, and mentally count the days. I am a known sentimental softie, and Christmas always conjures warm memories for me.
After an extensive career in the retail sector, Bayshore Mall in Ottawa was truly a second home to me. Now, many years past, that same feeling does not extend to the malls here in California! Though the stock is appealing, and the prices somewhat more advantageous here, I have lost the enjoyment in wandering through a mall, absorbing the season. In fact, despite it being so conveniently located at just a mile from our home, I DREAD going to this mall in particular! It is exceptionally busy on weekends, with nary a single parking place to be found! Usually, at least one of the handicapped spots are free, but not here, and not now. I just start to feel squished!
It isn’t jealously, or mourning the day when I could better afford to shop in stores like Nordstrom’s or Tiffany’s. Truth is, I never really could afford such stores, but it was always fun to look! Now, I have ZERO interest in such things. Just being in that mall gets my hackles up! But at the root of all this is my inability to focus on anything around me because I get SO lost! And with being lost, comes confusion and frustration, and a tiny niggling of fear. This sensation is nauseating, as I berate myself for no longer being able to keep track of where I am.
So I walk, and walk, and walk. Around and around, in circles around the floor of Macy’s, which in itself is good for me. Certainly my step counter approves, as it sits clipped on my waistband, buzzing quietly and commending me for moving so much. I suspect I have a slightly dazed, distracted look on my face, if anyone so much as glanced at me! But not to worry, everyone about me was in a pre-Black-Friday sort of mood, admiring items, but leaving them on the shelf.
I still anticipate holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas, mostly for the time off of ordinary that they provide. This year, we will have a total of almost 3 weeks, with one at thanksgiving, and over a week at Christmas. It is a bit depressing knowing that we’ll not be seeing any of our family over the holidays, but Evan and the girls will be here in early January. Plus, it is looking like we may actually be getting approval to pull the most of the rugs out and put in hardwood, so that would keep us occupied over Christmas for certain. That is, of course, IF we get a firm decision by then!
If not, there is always our bucket list of exploring to do here. Since snow is only likely to be found in the mountains, we have hundreds of miles of California still to visit. We also have some painting to do, and a very old dresser that I would love to refinish. Plus, knowing Glenn, keeping him off of his computer is going to be the major task, especially since there is always a crisis looming with the manufacturing plant in Shanghai. Luckily, he KNOWS better than to suggest that he take some of the time at Christmas to be a hero for Apple!